Empowering Black and Mixed-Heritage girls

Building a positive self-image for your Black and Mixed Heritage Tween Daughter

Our daughters need a safe space to explore their identities.

Having a strong sense of identity is important for your wellbeing and confidence. It can give us a sense of belonging and purpose. In a society that too often overlooks and misinterprets our Black and Mixed Heritage girls’ identity, our daughters confront distinct challenges that are uniquely their own. 

Whether it’s subtle microaggressions in the classroom, lack of understanding of their culture or the glaring absence of relatable role models in the media, these experiences can erode their self-confidence and sense of belonging.

As they navigate their formative years, Black and Mixed Heritage girls are bombarded with limiting messages that undermine their self-worth.

Our daughters are told who they are, based on stereotypes and assumptions. They’re told they’re not beautiful enough, that they’re too assertive or outspoken, or that they can’t embody grace and delicacy. 

These damaging stereotypes not only affect their emotional well-being but can impact on their peer relationships, confidence and have tangible consequences on their educational achievement, and cause them to engage differently with the world around them.

Compared to their white peers, Black girls are experiencing the world differently through often lack access to resources, representation, and empowering narratives that affirm their unique identities and sees their beauty. 

This can leave your child feeling…

Flattened

Like they’re being reduced to a one-dimensional stereotype of a “Black girl”.

Which overshadows the rich complexity of their individual personalities.

    Self-conscious 

    The disappointment that others often don’t invest the effort to understand or appreciate their distinct cultural background. 

    They may feel self-conscious about their cultural practices, whether it’s their faith, language expressions, clothing choices, or their favourite foods.  Often, professionals that our Black, and Mixed Heritage girls meet don’t invest the effort to understand or value their cultural background. Leading to these professionals marginalising them and/or treating them like an anomaly.

    Vulnerable and visible 

    The weight of stares, questions about their ‘country of origin’, hair and culture, the ‘hair touch’, it all builds up and makes them feel uncomfortable.

    They may feel like they represent all black people and are the spokesperson for Black lived experience. This can make them feel uncomfortable

    Burdened and frustrated 

    At this crucial time in their lives, tweens are more aware about their identity and sensitive to how they connect with others and where they fit in.

    They want to be recognized and celebrated as unique individuals. They don’t want to educate others about their heritage, culture and/or religious differences.

    Disconnected

    At a time in their lives when it’s crucial for them to feel like they fit in with their peers

    This sense of isolation and disconnection often comes from the differences in their lived experiences to their non-Black peers.

    Misunderstood 

    The misconception that their actions and emotions are solely a product of their Black identity, rather than a reflection of their individual selves. 

    They may be taught by a teacher who isn’t culturally informed and/or lack racial literacy. They may experience the misconception that their actions and emotions are solely a product of their black identity rather than a reflection of their individual expression.

    All of this can lead to a multitude of mental health problems, such as anxiety, low mood, and diminished self-esteem. 

    The harmful impact of stereotypes and assumptions can have a huge impact on their mental health and wellbeing.

    Their Black and mixed heritage identity gives them an experience of childhood that requires a different approach to parenting and specialist support…

    So, how do we navigate this as their parents?

    As a parent, you do your best to instil in your daughter a strong sense of self-worth and cultural pride.

    But let’s face it, you can’t be with them every step of the way. 

    Whether it’s at school, with friends, or in social settings, your daughter will face unique challenges tied to her racial and cultural identity. That’s why it’s crucial to equip her with the tools needed to navigate these complexities on her own terms.

    These challenges might include:

    one

    The Challenge of ‘Othering’: 

    Even if she can’t articulate it, your daughter knows when she’s being marginalised or treated differently. 

    She needs a safe space and the language to express these experiences.

    two

    The challenge of understanding their various identities: 

    For 2nd and 3rd generation or Mixed Heritage daughters, navigating a blended identity can be complex. 

    Stereotypes may suggest she should identify most with her parents’ heritage, but her lived experiences are also shaped by the culture in which she’s raised.

    Through exploring her own racial identity and lived experience, your daughter will be encouraged to be her authentic self.

    three

    The challenge of not being ‘the only’:

    Community and connection are crucial for identity and self-esteem.

    Your daughter needs to be part of a supportive community that can offer representation and reinforce the values and self-worth you instil in her at home. The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” has never been more relevant

    four

    The challenge of Adultification: 

    Young black girls’ childhood ends earlier than their white peers – a phenomenon known as ‘adultification’. 

    Your daughter wants to just be a girl, not growing up quickly and being expected to educate those around her.

    Through compassion, creativity and nurturing black joy, her childhood can be protected.

    five

    The challenge of  ‘Racial Awareness’: 

    Whether or not you’ve had “the talk” about race, your daughter is aware. She has questions that need to be addressed in a supportive environment.  An opportunity to explore her racial identity in joyous way, not associated with trauma. 

    Understanding and embracing her racial identity is crucial for her mental and emotional wellbeing.

    six

    The challenge of ‘internalising unhealthy messages’:

    Young Black and Mixed Heritage girls may internalise the stereotypes and messages they receive about their racial and cultural identities. 

    She needs tools to help her recognise when this is happening so she can navigate her racialised experiences in a constructive and empowering way.

    As a parent, it can be challenging to know how to respond when your daughter shares her experiences.

    It’s time to move beyond outdated advice you may have received from your parents – things like “just ignore it” or “they’re just jealous’’ or expecting these experiences to ‘strengthen their character’.

    Identity is crucial to your daughter’s wellbeing so she can thrive…don’t let the world tell her who she is. Introducing…

    Oriolaa

    /Oh-ree-or-la/

    A 12-week growth and wellbeing group specifically for Black and Mixed heritage girls aged 10-12 years old.

    Oriolaa derives from Nigeria, Yoruba word for crown, worthy and destined. Our Black and Mixed heritage girls are oh so worthy and destined for greatness.

    Oriolaa facilitates a safe space for your daughter to:

    •   Make real friends with other girls who get what she’s going through, who look like her and share similar experiences
    •   Learn to love herself and speak her mind in a safe and welcoming place
    •   Boost her self-confidence and learn how to be her authentic self 
    •   Get access to tools to help her thrive and grow into well-rounded confident young woman
    •   Learn the language to help her respond to her racialised experiences. 
    •   Begin the journey of self-awareness and self-expression.  
    •   Learn how to process her feelings, which is a key skill to learn for being an emotionally mature and resilient adult

    Unlock Her Potential with Psychology-Backed Strategies

    I’ve created Oriolaa using evidence-based psychological strategies based on the Thoughts-Feelings-Behaviour model.

    This is a proven and research-based tools and techniques that are used by practising psychologists. They will help your daughter learn how to articulate and cope with her racialised experiences by understanding the relationship between how the experiences of affect how she thinks and feels about herself.

    How Does This Work? A Real-World Example:

    Imagine your daughter receives a comment about her hair being ‘puffy’ or ‘like a sheep’ This could lead her to feeling sad, upset, or angry, she may then internalise thoughts of feeling unattractive or being different. This can then affect her behaviour and choices.

    She might then shy away from new opportunities or lack the confidence to engage with her world fully, which may leave her feeling more isolated than before. 

    Transforming Reaction into Resilience:

    The Thoughts-Feelings-Behaviour model helps your daughter to identify, name and validate her feelings around these specific racialised experiences.

    Rather than internalising these emotions or pathologising them, she learns to set strong boundaries. She gains the language to communicate her feelings effectively. This is more than just coping…it’s about empowering her to live her life confidently and authentically.

    ✦ thoughts ✦

    ✦ feelings ✦

    ✦ behaviors ✦

    How does Oriolaa work?

    Here’s a detailed look at what you’ll receive when your daughter joins Oriolaa and how it’s going to help her:

    Fortnightly One-Hour Online Sessions on Mondays (6 sessions in total)

    Consistent, focused time for your daughter to engage in meaningful discussions and activities, all from the comfort of her home.

    ✓ Individualised Parental Feedback

    Stay in the loop with personalised feedback provided at the halfway point and the end of the programme. This allows you to support your daughter’s journey more effectively, armed with insights and recommendations.

    Connection and community

    Connect, collaborate and create with other Black and Mixed heritage girls creating a sense of belonging and a sisterhood community who uplift each other and celebrate Black joy.

    ✓ Comprehensive Resources and Tools

    Empower your daughter with psychologically-backed resources that help her understand the connection between her thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, equipping her to navigate racialised experiences with resilience. A specially curated toolkit that guides your daughter through this key life stage and its milestones, offering her a roadmap for the challenges and opportunities ahead.

     Limited Group Size of 8 Members 

    Small group sizes ensure that each girl receives individualised support. Whether your daughter is an introvert or an extrovert, she’ll get the attention and time she needs to flourish.

    ✓ Grand Finale: A 3-Hour In-Person Event in London

    The programme culminates in a fun-filled, in-person event designed to deepen the bonds of sisterhood. Your daughter will engage in activities that encourage her to connect, collaborate, communicate, and create.

    Want to have a chat before committing?

    If you’re interested in the Oriolaa programme but have questions or would like to learn more, I would love to invite you to book a Discovery Call. This is a no-obligation opportunity to discuss your daughter’s specific needs, explore how the programme can benefit her, and get all your questions answered.

    Click the button below to schedule your Discovery Call at a time that’s convenient for you.

     

    Investment

    Secure Your Spot at an Exclusive Early-Bird Rate

    I understand that investing in your daughter’s wellbeing is a significant commitment, both emotionally and financially.

    That’s why for this first round of the programme I’m offering an exclusive rate of £525 for the entire Oriolaa programme (future rounds will be at least £555.)

    Even further, if you book before the 8th November, you’ll get an extra £50 discount and a special early-bird bonus. You can also secure your spot with the first payment of a three-part payment plan. 

    This special rate is only available until the first 4 spots are taken.

    Pay in full

    £525

    Early bird only £475 (first 4 places)
    Book before 30th November

    Payment plan

    3 x £175

    Early bird only 3 x £160 (first 4 places)
    Book before 30th November

    Special Early-Bird Bonus: Master the Art of Race-Based Conversations with Your Daughter

    Enrol your daughter in one of the limited spaces for Oriolaa and receive a complimentary guide on how to have meaningful race-based conversations with your daughter.

    Navigate Sensitive Topics with Ease: As a parent, you may find it challenging to approach conversations about race and identity. This expertly crafted guide provides you with the language, context, and strategies to navigate these discussions confidently.

    Strengthen Your Parent-Child Relationship: Open and honest conversations about race can deepen the bond between you and your daughter. Learn how to create a safe space where she feels heard and understood.

    Equip Yourself with Knowledge:  A comprehensive resource filled with insights and actionable steps. You’ll gain a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding race-based experiences, empowering you to be a more supportive parent.

    Be a Part of Your Daughter’s Journey: As she navigates the Oriolaa programme, your daughter will be exploring her identity and confronting racialised experiences. This guide equips you to be an active, informed participant in her journey of self-discovery.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    one

    What age group is the Oriolaa programme designed for?

    The Oriolaa programme is specifically designed for Black and mixed heritage girls aged 10-12 years old.

    two

    How long is the programme?

    The programme spans over a period of 12 weeks. The programme starts on January 8th, 2024.

    three

    What is the format of the sessions?

    The programme includes fortnightly one-hour online sessions held on Monday afternoons. On non-session weeks, reflection activities are set to help your daughter internalise what she’s learned.

    four

    How many participants are in each group?

    To ensure individualised attention, each group is limited to 8 members.

    five

    What topics will be covered?

    The programme covers a range of topics including identity, self-esteem, racialised experiences, and emotional wellbeing, among others. 

    six

    Who will be leading the sessions?

    The sessions are led by a qualified Black psychotherapist who is experienced in working with children and addressing the unique challenges they face.

    seven

    Is there a payment plan available?

    Yes, there is a flexible payment plan for the Early-Bird special. You can secure your daughter’s spot wit the first of the three instalments. The other instalments are due in Jan and Feb.

    eight

    What is the Early-Bird price?

    The Early-Bird price is £475 for the entire programme. This special rate is available for a limited time.

    nine

    As a parent, will I receive updates on my daughter's progress?

    Yes, individualised feedback is given to parents or guardians at the halfway point and at the end of the programme.

    ten

    How can I learn more before making a decision?

    If you have more questions or would like to discuss your daughter’s specific needs, you can book a no-obligation Discovery Call.

    Why me? Hi, I’m Kemi

    As a Black female Psychotherapist, with many years of experience working with Black and Brown families, I understand existing in a world that predominantly engages with you through a white centred lens.  I understand existing as a woman in a patriarchal society. 

    I understand the impact this can have on your psychological wellbeing and your sense of identity. 

    I understand the importance of providing our Black girls with the foundation and tools to navigate all these systems, now and in their future. 

    I am also the mother of a Black daughter and through both the therapeutic work I do with Black families and the work I do as a parent, I know confidence and self-assurance in their identity is key to their resilience and wellbeing and them thriving now and in their adult life.

    I’m a registered Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist with over 15 years experience working therapeutically with children and their families.

    I also work as a consultant and trainer helping individuals and organisations to be culturally competent and inclusive, helping them to develop antiracist practices and foster psychological safety for marginalised young people.

    Over the years, I’ve successfully supported young Black people through challenging periods in their lives; periods of uncertainty, loss, mental illness, change or transitions. 

    As a culturally sensitive therapist, I work in a way that affirms the young person helping them to find their voice and be their authentic self.

    I’m passionate about working within my community to raise awareness on the importance of mental health support for our children and young people, giving them a solid foundation to navigate life experiences from. 

    There is more acceptance and awareness around supporting adult mental health, children and young people deserve the same. 

    Supporting children with their mental health at an early stage can be life changing, providing them with lifelong skills to prioritise their wellbeing.

    I created Oriolaa to use my many years of therapy experience to create a programme to work specifically with young Black girls aged 10-12 at a crucial point in their self-development to prevent any difficulties they may experience as a result of their racialised experiences.

    Become a sponsor

    Oriolaa will be sponsoring up to 2 spaces for Black or mixed heritage girls who would otherwise not be able to afford it. If you would like to sponsor a girl, or find out more about the sponsorship opportunity, please reach out for more information. 

    If you’ve made it this far…

    ✦ I created Oriolaa out of a deep-rooted commitment to the wellbeing and empowerment of Black and mixed heritage girls ✦ 

    Understanding the unique challenges your daughter faces, I’ve designed this programme to be a sanctuary—a place where she can explore her identity, connect with a like-minded community, and arm herself with transformative tools and resources.

    I wholeheartedly believe in the life-changing potential of this programme. It’s not just an investment in your daughter’s present but a cornerstone for her future. 

    I’m confident that Oriolaa can be a pivotal chapter in her life, setting her on a path to self-assurance, resilience, and cultural pride that will enrich her for years to come.

    If you’re ready to take this significant leap, know that I am here to guide both of you every step of the way.

    Investment

    Secure Your Spot at an Exclusive Early-Bird Rate

    Pay in full

    £525

    Early bird only £475 (first 4 places)
    Book before 8th November 

    Payment plan

    3 x £175

    Early bird only 3 x £160 (first 4 places)
    Book before 8th November